Wonder Years 1
Reading minishorts's latest post got me thinking upon some matter. Growing pain stuff.
I grew up a good kid. Get good grades, back at home after school and certainly never go out causing trouble. I didn't what is ponteng until I reached form 2. Street fighter II was the reason I did such a treacherous deed. I had some friends. Thanks to them to I learned masturbation (form 1 and experiment commenced one year later...yep, a pure loser that time). But of course that's another story.
We have posse. Gangs that share same interests. Mine was particularly in music. You know Soundgarden, Pearl Jam, Smashing Pumpkins..etc. We are cool. We just hanging out. Mcdonalds was a good place. My grades were reddish every month. My mum didn't say anything mainly because of the merits I accumulated all these years a total 11 A's in two public examination and no police record of kena tangkap while slaying fatass E.Honda. Until one time I got into fight with this friend of mine. Later I was banned from the gang. Nobody wanted to talk to me. I mean, that was the mother of all ban. I got no choice but being a lone ranger until some nerds in my class approached me to study together. Of course there was no such thing as nerds that time yet. I was like what they hell! That was like end of form 4 and was about to enter the crucial year of form 5. I work my ass out to pick up what I left out in form 4. The outcome was not bad. Got an A for Sejarah even I was thought by a Malay teacher who famous for his asking "mau masuk Islam?" each time he met his students during form 4.
I got into form 6. The whole environment changed. Having most of the outrsiders came into my school to study form 6, I lost most of my friends. Lost in the sense that I wouldn't be meeting them like last time. I guess it was ok because I'll be definitely meeting more people. Smart people from other school that score better than me and already finished chapter 3 in that subject called Kimia Organik during the orientation period. I mixed with some of people and joined few clubs and got some high rank post as well. Everything was quite nice.
I was then realized one thing. You are on your own, sucker! Forget about about attachment. Attachment are bad thing. Everybody are too busy looking after their own shit. That was sort of my very first culture shock. Of all the activities we had done together, you still on your own. Nobody going to help you with your subjects and your studies. You gonna help yourself. I mean I never thought that form 6 was a mini dog-eat-dog society that I am going to join like fuck! not another 5 more years according to my normal people educational milestones. I hence imprisoned myself that time. Emotionally. Mentally. Smiling, clowning, walking around as I might with my form 6 friends but it was empty.
Then I realized something, those form 6 friends, they were not your long time friends. It take a really friendly socialize-whiz people to do it in two years time. To make an attachment of friendship. Until now I still blurred but hey what the heck. Few of them still contacting me now. We still go out for our diabetical yam char session.
I grew up a good kid. Get good grades, back at home after school and certainly never go out causing trouble. I didn't what is ponteng until I reached form 2. Street fighter II was the reason I did such a treacherous deed. I had some friends. Thanks to them to I learned masturbation (form 1 and experiment commenced one year later...yep, a pure loser that time). But of course that's another story.
We have posse. Gangs that share same interests. Mine was particularly in music. You know Soundgarden, Pearl Jam, Smashing Pumpkins..etc. We are cool. We just hanging out. Mcdonalds was a good place. My grades were reddish every month. My mum didn't say anything mainly because of the merits I accumulated all these years a total 11 A's in two public examination and no police record of kena tangkap while slaying fatass E.Honda. Until one time I got into fight with this friend of mine. Later I was banned from the gang. Nobody wanted to talk to me. I mean, that was the mother of all ban. I got no choice but being a lone ranger until some nerds in my class approached me to study together. Of course there was no such thing as nerds that time yet. I was like what they hell! That was like end of form 4 and was about to enter the crucial year of form 5. I work my ass out to pick up what I left out in form 4. The outcome was not bad. Got an A for Sejarah even I was thought by a Malay teacher who famous for his asking "mau masuk Islam?" each time he met his students during form 4.
I got into form 6. The whole environment changed. Having most of the outrsiders came into my school to study form 6, I lost most of my friends. Lost in the sense that I wouldn't be meeting them like last time. I guess it was ok because I'll be definitely meeting more people. Smart people from other school that score better than me and already finished chapter 3 in that subject called Kimia Organik during the orientation period. I mixed with some of people and joined few clubs and got some high rank post as well. Everything was quite nice.
I was then realized one thing. You are on your own, sucker! Forget about about attachment. Attachment are bad thing. Everybody are too busy looking after their own shit. That was sort of my very first culture shock. Of all the activities we had done together, you still on your own. Nobody going to help you with your subjects and your studies. You gonna help yourself. I mean I never thought that form 6 was a mini dog-eat-dog society that I am going to join like fuck! not another 5 more years according to my normal people educational milestones. I hence imprisoned myself that time. Emotionally. Mentally. Smiling, clowning, walking around as I might with my form 6 friends but it was empty.
Then I realized something, those form 6 friends, they were not your long time friends. It take a really friendly socialize-whiz people to do it in two years time. To make an attachment of friendship. Until now I still blurred but hey what the heck. Few of them still contacting me now. We still go out for our diabetical yam char session.
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on Thursday, September 22, 2005 at 1:13 AM.
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